Topics for Couples Considering Marriage
- Expectations
- Myths about marriage
- Optimism vs. Over-Idealism
- Spiritual Oneness
- Understanding your spouse’s relationship with God
- Scripture, devotional time, prayer, worship, and service
- Communication
- You can talk, but can you communicate?
- Understanding filters—the thins that get in the way of good communication
- Different levels of emotional expression
- Conflict Resolution
- Conflict: A positive force for change or destructive marriage killer
- Knowing the warning signs: Escalation, Withdrawal, Invalidation, and Negative Interpretation, Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling
- Separating issues from events and identifying complimentary vs. contradictory traits
- Finances
- Budget, Budget, Budget
- The hidden issues of power, impulse control, and security
- Standard of living and stewardship
- Sexuality
- Sexual abstinence is essential during engagement
- Understanding each others sexual physiology, response, and needs
- Expectations for the honeymoon
- Understanding Love and Your Love Style
- Understanding the three sided model of love—Commitment, Passion, and Intimacy
- Giving and receiving affection
- Knowing your love language
- Your Family of Origin
- Recognizing that you are really marrying a stranger
- Separating from your family and becoming reliant upon each other—Leaving and Cleaving
- Family traditions and holidays
- Joining a new family
- Gender Differences
- Learning to enjoy the differences
- The Connection/Autonomy challenge
- Avoiding the Pursuer/Distancer trap
- Roles, Power, and Career
- The leadership structure of the bone
- How decision will be made will be made
- How important is your career?
- Friends and Leisure Time Activities
- How are we going to spend our free time?
- Who are our friends?
- The openness of the home
- Children
- How many children do we want? How soon?
- How do we want our children to be raised?
- Preparing to be a parent
- Marriage Mentoring
- Learning from experienced couples
- Post-marital check-ups
- Plans for Enrichment in Marriage
- Where are we headed as a couple?
- What will we do to keep us growing together?
- How will we know when we need to step back and refocus?
Ted Witzig, Jr., Ph.D.